I haven't written a blog entry since the date of Gregory's death.  It's time.  Read on further and you'll understand why.

For those who "aren't sure" if we all receive signs/messages from heaven when someone we are close to leaves us I want to share with you something that is in no way, shape or form a coincidence:  Gregory's very much alive in heaven watching over us!  I've struggled to "believe" this concept and it's beginning to be apparent. 

When someone is full of so much life it's impossible to take them away.  There is no such thing as death.  What it should be called is "physical death" because the soul does live on in heaven, watching over loved ones, guiding them.  I'm beginning to understand more than I ever have in this life, once again, through the soul of my son.  He guided me when he was with me in physical form and he continues to guide me from his new home.  If we open our minds and our souls we too will see "the signs" from those who are trying to communicate.  Spiritual life does not die, only the physical body leaves our lives.  Gregory truly is in a better place and he's desperately trying to tell us all that he's still with us daily.

Monday night, New Years Eve, Kaitlyn, Tim and I are alone on our lanai like we have never been before on a New Years Eve in our past 19 years on this earth.  We chose to not sit and watch the ball drop as I have done since I was less than Kaitlyn's age and Kaitlyn has done since she was born.  Our lives have been shattered and we are desperately attempting to pick up the pieces choosing the "Ok everyone, 2008 is the year of 'me' attitude" and "I am going to make my mind, body and spirit healthier and try and work through this horrible feeling of loss" feeling the three of us were sharing together alone, without Gregory.  I truly believe that I personally can not be good for anyone until I am healthy in my mind.  This is what came over my mind as midnight hit.  It was now 2008.  After saying a few choice words to 2007, which I will not write here, I said "OK, 2008, I'm ready to work towards moving forward personally".  I turned towards Kaitlyn first, hugging and kissing her, my baby, my sweetheart child who has been through a life of hell not by choice.  Then I turned towards my husband, second, the man who chose to take on this situation but had no idea what he was getting himself into but has not walked away.  And then we all sat there, alone, without Gregory.  Kaitlyn looked at me and Tim saying "OK, now lets look for signs from Gregory".  There were none, at that moment.

About 15 minutes after we rang in the new year we all went to bed.  Kaitlyn in her room.  Tim and myself in our room.  Tim began his usual channel flipping, avoiding Dick Clarke's New Years Rockin' Eve knowing that I would lose it if I saw the show (for more reasons than the obvious.  Has anyone heard the music that's being published these days?  Geesh!)  Anyway, he flipped channels for about 10 minutes, boring me with ESPN, MSNBC, Discovery.  Nothing was on television.  Then, out of the clear blue he flipped to the Golf Channel and Gregory spoke to us.  To both of our eyes we saw the most amazing site:  A show titled "My World:  Greg Norman"!  Both of us looked at one another in amazement and were glued to the television.  Yes, Gregory, we received your message listening to Mr. Norman talking about his life, his determination, his passion and his relationship with his son.  I was feeling beaten and run over back a Mack truck.  I have been suffering from the worst depression in my life, feeling as if I had hit rock bottom with no rope.  I had been plagued with despairing hopes of how I would be able to face this new year of  2008 with uncertainty not knowing Kaitlyn's fate in the future.  I saw with my own eyes your message of encouragement through subtlety from heaven.  Greg Norman inspired you.  He befriended you, giving you confidence.  He gave you the unstoppable feeling that you could make a difference by starting your foundation.  You and Greg Norman were "supposed" to meet to inspire one another.  I received your sign Gregory and I understand what I must do and where I must go to do it.  I remember what we said to one another for many years.  I feel our bond stronger than ever.  I realize that there is no such thing as death when there is the strongest of love involved.  Gregory, I understand what you want me to do and I will do it with your soul as part of my own.  I received your message loud and clear.

I made Gregory several promises and I intend on keeping them.  In 2008 I will rebound through counseling and medication.  I will persevere and be stronger than I was before my son was taken from my arms.  I will remain true to my sons goal in finding cures for cancers as he truly believed they were available but not yet found.  I will never let anything break my spirit.  My son may have been ripped from my arms in physical form but he will never leave my soul.  Gregory has inspired too many people to allow myself to go down personally.  If he was able to inspire strangers how could I possibly allow him to not continue to inspire the person he was closest to in his life?  We were and will always be "soul mates" and we will work together from earth and heaven in this year and the coming years to help others.  I "get it" Gregory and I won't let you down.  Thank you baby.  "I'll love you forever, forever I love you.  As long as I'm living my baby you'll be!"

I love you!

Ditto X 7!